Closure

There's a lot to do when you're packing up your life. When I left Melbourne I had about five months from knowing I had the job to departure. Now I have a matter of weeks.

The hardest thing is saying goodbye to people. Thanks to everyone in Canberra who I have spoken to recently - you've been lovely and you're making leaving far for difficult than it would be otherwise!

Nevertheless, it feels right. And as of tonight, I'm able to leave on civilised terms with everyone in this town (to the best of my knowledge) and that is amazing.

This is my last week at work and then I have a few days to pack up before I leave. I've also decided to wrap up this blog as of this post. It's been a fantastic outlet, but I won't be able to continue it in my new job and now is as good a time as any.

Thanks to all of you who have read this blog and been supportive over the last eighteen months.

Goodnight. And good luck.

Categories: Miscellaneous
Tags: closing-time

Harbour city dreams

The news has come through and it looks like I'm going to be making the trip up the Federal Highway to Sydney to start my new career. What's my new career, you may ask? I'll give you a hint - it's going to be a conflict of interest to keep this blog running under it's current name.

I suspect things are going to move very quickly indeed, which is just as well. It's hit me hard in the last 24 hours how absolutely wrenching it's going to be leaving this place. When I moved to Canberra from Melbourne three years ago, I was determined to make a proper go of things and make a life for myself up here. It would be oh-so-much-easier if I had failed. Many of my best friends from my time here have already left, but there's a long list of people who make my life better by their presence - and I am going to miss them terribly.

Over and above the sense of loss and sadness is the guilty feeling that comes from knowing how it feels to be the abandoned one - the person left behind. I have to let that feeling go or it will drive me mad. But today it has overwhelmed me.

So with a heavy heart I start to make serious plans for my future.

Categories: Old Sad Bastard Music
Tags: leaving; new-life; old-life; sadness

Waiting room blues

Five or six weeks ago, I applied for a new job. A new job in a new town. It seemed like the kind of thing I would have a chance with and it was worth testing out further. I figured it would be a long process and I could just put it at the back of my mind and get on with things. Of course it never works out that way.

Tonight marks the end of a period of limbo. I've spent the past month at least putting my life on hold and avoiding new commitments and involvements. I feel like I'm abandoning everyone and everything in my life and I want to get away from that feeling. There are people I just can't see at the moment because of the questions they ask me that I can't answer.

To date I've made it through two rounds of interviews, psychometric testing and a mock presentation and the field has narrowed to me and one other person. By all reports the company is having trouble splitting us. We're very different but apparently equally suitable. I can imagine them meeting this afternoon and flipping a coin to settle it.

My housemate described it as being like Schrödinger's Cat - the idea that if you don't know the result of something, you're in two states simultaneously. She's exactly right. Some time this afternoon a decision was made and right now I'm both leaving town and staying here. I'm ok with all this. But until I know the answer, I don't know how to behave.

Categories: Old Sad Bastard Music
Tags: limbo; schrodingers-cat